During summer before my sophomore year, I was at a crossroads in my life, for more reasons than one. My world and place within it were changing and with everything feeling as if it was moving quickly before me, and I, like many teens, saw myself as tripping behind.
I craved a constant in my life, something that stuck with me — which is when I discovered the 1990s television series “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”
While I know that does not sound like a world-altering discovery, for me it truly was. The series and its storylines helped me through many rough days and reignited my passion for entertainment. I was truly enamored and spent a majority of my summer watching and adoring the show’s seven seasons. I watched the spin-off series, “Angel,” read the comics set after the final episode’s conclusion and collected the entire series on DVD after scouring a used book warehouse event for every boxed set.
Yet, my love of Buffy is something many do not know about me. I kept it carefully guarded, and in the years that followed, lost my spark for it, my knowledge of every character fading, my DVDs collecting dust at the very top of my bookshelf. For many, the entertainment we choose to divulge in is often something we do not openly express our interest in, whether it is due to a sense of protectiveness or fear of embarrassment.
Recently, I was deeply moved by a film that came out this past summer – James Gunn’s Superman. Not only did I love the movie itself, but the reaction that arose from viewers, specifically teens. Online, people shared their love for Superman over the years, and a trend emerged after a video from the YouTube channel, The Zurkie Show, went viral. The trend allowed people to “nerd out” and show the different films, music and fandoms that made up who they were, inspired by the sweet and honest nature of David Corenswet’s Superman rendition.
This trend brings people together over their love of fictional characters, niche subjects and favorite songs, allowing people to share their knowledge of topics they may not discuss in their everyday lives. These nerd out videos inspired me too, and made me feel reconnected to the media and subjects I have always loved.
Why be embarrassed? Why disregard all the knowledge I had, and the fun too? When did we get so scared of being nerds, and so judgmental of the interests of others?
I want to be able to nerd out about the things I enjoy and not worry about seeming childish or annoying. I want others to feel this way too. Who cares if you are wearing a shirt with your favorite anime on it, or want to go to a book convention? Who cares if you are crying at a concert for your favorite band, and screaming every word? Who cares if you still want a Harry Potter tattoo?
You should care, and let yourself feel love for these things, but do not let anyone else’s opinions impact your passions. As long as your interests do not hurt others, it does not matter what people think. If people actually do judge you for whatever nerdy behavior you take part in, then maybe they are not who you thought they were.
As for me, I give up trying to not be a nerd. I love Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and every cheesy storyline and bad special effect that comes with it. I know more about singer Kurt Cobain’s life than I probably should, and have specifically asked for time on vacation just to see the recording studio of the band Blind Melon when they lived in New Orleans.
I get chills and tear up every time Alan Grant and Ellie Sattler see the dinosaurs for the first time in Jurassic Park, and will always smile at a Back to the Future reference. I collect signed books, and vintage stuffed animals.
And I love it. Nerd out.
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