The margins of my math worksheets were my canvas as I drew 50 differently sized cubes with my mechanical pencil. 

A younger version of myself would have lit up with joy upon the prospect of spending every moment doodling on spare papers and sketching hearts onto the carpet. Now, all that joy has left my current 15-year-old self exhausted. 

My love for art began the summer I turned 8, more than seven years ago. My grandmother, visiting from India, noticed the talent and interest I had in art. She urged my mom to enroll me in art classes, and although my mom was hesitant at first, she eventually relented.

From then, art became my one true love. At 11, I started to take art courses at school, exploring different mediums such as Prismacolor colored pencils (my personal favorite), watercolors and charcoal. Additionally, I learned about composition skills that are still useful today as a staff designer on The Sidekick. Art was a part of who I was (which, side note, is probably not a healthy relationship to have with something).

But as the years passed, something changed. I desperately clung to the hope of “maybe it will get better,” but what once felt like a relaxing hobby instead became a constant source of stress. I struggled to balance my desire to spend time doing art with the academic workload I was carrying.

I continued to draw; not because I had stopped feeling the exhaustion art caused me to feel, but because it connected me back to my roots of an eager 5-year-old drawing a girl with three-fingered hands and yellow squiggly lines that were meant to be hair. This connection fueled me to stay with art until one night, I realized that I no longer felt the motivation to continue.

It was then I realized that loving to do something does not mean that it is carefree. It means you are willing to put the effort into it without letting it drain you. Art taught me patience and resilience for balancing technicality with creativity. 

Rather than hunching over a 9-by-12 inch piece of paper, I learned to incorporate my love for design into my other hobbies. Through assignments, graphic designing and lettering, I expanded my interest to exist beyond paper. 

So when I find myself sketching in the margins of my notebook as I did in elementary school, I am reminded of the girl who sat with her favorite crayons to draw for hours on end. Art was my first love, so while I may have branched out from the art I once did, it still influences everything I create.

The world was once my canvas, but now, it is my inspiration to grow.

To that, I say thank you.

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