Ashleigh Heaton
Entertainment Editor

The world moaned in sorrow when Lady Gaga announced that she would be cancelling the co-headlining tour with Kayne West in January. “Boo!” they said, “We want the Gaga and all her weirdness and we want her now!”

Well, now has arrived.

On October 15, the pop icon announced on her blog that she would be touring this winter after all — this time, solo. Entitled “The Monster Ball” to compliment the upcoming release the repackaged The Fame album, The Monster Fame, Gaga describes the show as “a multimedia artistic experience in the style of the first-ever ‘pop electro opera’.”

I expect nothing less strange from the sunglasses-obsessed, ‘hair bow’-wearing, on-stage-dying gal.

However, don’t get your hopes up, Coppellians. The Lady isn’t planning on gracing Texas. In fact, according to the line-up, the closest venue you could go to is in St. Louis, Missouri — and that isn’t all that close, ladies and gents. Unfortunately, it looks like it will be a while before DFW can go gogo for Gaga, despite the revamped tour schedule.

I can hear the world moaning now…