Emma Hair
Staff Writer

WARNING: This blog post is extremely anti-Twilight.

First off, I should probably preface this by saying that I have read the entire Twilight Saga. I read the first book when I was in sixth grade (I think…), and I was naive enough to actually like that worthless excuse for literature. I thought Edward was a “gentleman” and that it was “so romantic” that he would watch Bella sleep at night. Now I know better- he’s just a perverted creeper. And what’s up with Bella? I mean, COME ON, you find out that the guy you like has been creeping’ on you at night and that he thinks your blood smells delicious, yet you still want to date him? She really needs psychiatric care.

Furthermore, why would you ever date someone who wanted to eat you? Wouldn’t you rather find a guy you could go out to dinner with, rather than someone who just wants to have you for dinner? Bella must have a death wish. Just look at her in New Moon– jumping off of cliffs and riding way too fast on a motorcycle. Either that or she’s a masochist.

You know, if Bella would just use her brain she wouldn’t get into so much trouble. The first time she actually thinks is more than three-fourths of the way into Twilight, and she never uses her brain in the second or third books at all. Well, I can’t really say that. To be honest, I haven’t read the books in many years, so I don’t really know, but I’m sure I’d remember something as significant as Bella proving that she has some sort of measurable IQ.

Another thing that really frustrates me about the series is that fact that Bella is completely pathetic. I find it incredibly insulting that Stephanie Meyer made the heroine of her series an extreme stereotype of woman-kind. In fact, I’m shocked that more girls aren’t offended by this. Meyer is teaching young girls to be dependent on men, marry rich, and to throw away their entire lives just because they think some guy is “hot”.

Breaking Dawn is an excellent example of what I’m trying to say. Bella marries the first guy she’s ever been in a relationship with at the age of 18, and then she gets pregnant! I mean it’s already bad enough, but then you add in the fact that her husband is a monster and you’ve got a seriously messed up plot line. You don’t even have to go that far into the series to see my point- just look at the scene in Eclipse where Bella fails to seduce Edward. REALLY??? Bella is, what 17? That goes against everything that girls should be taught; like waiting until marriage. And that’s exactly the opposite of what Bella’s trying to do. Bella Swan is not fit to be seen as a good role model for girls.

There’s a lot more I could rant about on this subject, but I feel as though you don’t really want to read a novel-length slander of Stephanie Meyer and her waste of precious resources that some people like to call a book series, so I will end my post here.

Oh, before I end this, there’s this guy on YouTube, Alex Day,  who has this series of vlogs in which he reads chapters of Twilightaloud and talks about how terrible he thinks Stephanie Meyer’s writing is. They are simply wonderful and I really suggest that everyone goes and watched his videos because he provides an outsider’s insight to the book. Before he started reading the book for this series of vlogs, he hadn’t really known anything about Twilight other than that a lot of people were obsessed with it.

So for your viewing pleasure, I present to you: “Alex Read Twilight Ch. 1”. Enjoy.