By Allie Arnold
student life editor
@_alliearnold

It is often difficult for people to tell the difference when others are upfront and honest as opposed to just being a jerk. I have been torn multiple times because of this, trying to decide whether or not to speak up about something that bothers me or to keep it to myself.

My 21-year-old sister, Sarah, and I have both struggled with this issue our whole lives. She is very much a “go getter” type of person that knows what she wants and gets what she wants because she won’t stop until she does. While I also have goals, I’m someone who is more along for the ride as opposed to full speed ahead. These different traits in two sisters causes a clash similar to that of fire and gasoline. Needless to say, it is not pretty.

We decided to take a shopping trip together one day in Dallas. I was driving, and I will be the first to admit, my sense of direction is awful (and I mean awful), while her’s is almost flawless. Knowing this, you might be wondering why I was the one driving to downtown out of the two of us. I do not exactly know the answer to that one either.

Long story short, I took the wrong exit and began driving us in the complete opposite direction of our destination, and my sister had a field day.

“You’re almost 18 and you have no idea where you’re going or what you’re doing at all, ever,” Sarah said.

I responded with a smart remark about how I could “literally” see the sky falling all because of a wrong turn, but that only pushed her further to explain to me how much street smarts I lack.

After realizing that I was a little hurt by her comments, she then proceeded to tell me that she was not being rude, she was being real.

There is not a doubt in my mind that my sister cares about me, but she has always been annoyed with my lack of street smarts and wanted to express her frustration. My sister knew that I had done everything imaginable to try to become better with my directions and that I had just made an honest mistake. She was not being real, she was being rude.

I am a firm believer in telling someone what they need to hear as long as it is beneficial in some sort of way. Being real is vocalizing something in order to make a change, not just to express how much something they do or say irritates you. Harping on other’s faults will not help the situation either.

For example, if someone were to come up to you at school and say they did not like your outfit that day, that would be considered rude, because unless you keep a fully stocked wardrobe in your locker, there is not really much you can do about it at the moment. They are criticising what you like and who you are, and in that case, it is the time to be “real” and tell that person just how rude they are.

It is often difficult to decipher what is necessary to vocalize to someone, but taking a few seconds to think could make a huge difference in the outcome of the situation.

Ask yourself: Is it something they are already aware of? In my case, I understand what I need to work on.  It could be the same for anyone who is struggling with something else. Make sure they are not aware of the issue before you vocalize it, and even then, make sure you are only bringing it to their attention for their benefit.

Also,  it is really necessary to be said? Obviously, if you or someone else you know is being threatened or bullied, you automatically have a free pass to speak up about it, but only with things that absolutely must be brought to attention. There is a fine line of looking out for someone and saying unnecessary things just to make yourself feel better. If you confuse the two, the argument could easily be turned to a rude one.

There is nothing wrong with speaking up on an issue when it’s necessary but words can break bones just as easily as sticks and stones, and it is important to not take that lightly.