By Chris Sheldon
staff writer
@ChrisSheldon
Chivalry has been around since the dawn of man. However, how it has been interpreted has ebbed and flowed its way through time. Chivalry in its most basic form is a simple kind act of kindness a man puts forward for a woman in order to express compassion and love.
You will notice being chivalrous seems very easy. They are small tasks that can mean the world to a girl.
However, our generation has seen a new trend. The feminist movement has swept across the country rallying young girls and old, to be their own woman who can support themselves. The movement focuses promoting awareness on the condition of women in the work force as well as removing gender roles.
However, our generation has seen a new trend. With women questioning gender roles, chivalry is often seen as a threat to gender equality. Further along those lines some people might even say opening the door or picking up the tab creates the assumption. It is believed that acts of chivalry solidify gender roles and reverse the progress the feminist movement has made.
As Sara Chuirazzi, a current sophomore double majoring in psychology and english at Bucknell puts it, “It’s not that a man needs to open my car door for me. While I appreciate that, I can open the door for myself—it’s the compassion of another person, knowing that I can say something completely ridiculous or deeply personal and still feel safe”.
Often the paradoxical nature of the situation can become very confusing and one male feminist put it better than anyone else, “When men act according to traditional gender norms, women get offended, but when men don’t act according to traditional gender norms, women are disappointed that they’re not being treated better”. This double standard plagues society as a key conflict point for men when responding to feminist ideals.
But chivalry is not just about being kind to women. Chivalry is about expressing the love and compassion for someone you really truly care about. Whether it’s a girl or guy, everyone has an opportunity to show how much they care. Chivalry is just that one way men can easily share that love.
From my perspective as a guy who is in a relationship, I see chivalry as a gift to give. I like to spoil my girlfriend so she feels loved and appreciated. In no way do I ever intend to degrade her as a woman.
For instance, on a typical date I pull up to her house go to the door, walk her to the car and open the door. Not because she cannot open it herself but because I want to be compassionate. I will drive because I was the one to pick her up, take her to a restaurant and we will have a relaxing dinner. At the end of the meal I pick up the tab and pay because this date was my treat to her. We enjoy these things together because I am able to show how much she means to me.
During no part of any of my dates ever do I say, “ She has to be treated this way because she is a girl”. That is simply not the point of being chivalrous. To treat the person you care about the right way is a matter of your own beliefs and morality. If you truly love and care for someone the standard for treating doesn’t come from stereotypes, it comes from the heart.
The thing is, being a jerk is easy. It requires no effort. Being rude, shallow and apathetic will only hurt you in a relationship. If you really truly care about a girl or guy step up, do something nice occasionally. The littlest things can really portray how much you care. Life is too short to not let people know how you feel. So take a shot, go open a door, go help someone out when they need it, and best of all just say something to someone every single day.
