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Coppell Student Media

The official student news site of Coppell High School

Coppell Student Media

I am not your perfect girl anymore

It’s time we redefine what it means to be a woman today
Minori Kunte
Throughout history, girls have been taught to maintain a role in society, often accommodating to the pressures and needs of others. The Sidekick CHS9 editor Nyah Rama thinks the unequal expectations placed on women has a negative sociological and psychological effect on them. Graphic by Minori Kunte.

Last month I said the words “I’m sorry” at least five times a day.

Why?, you may ask. Did she say something rude to a teacher? Did she hurt a friend’s feelings? Did she turn in an assignment late?

Nope. I am simply one of billions of girls who have been psychologically conditioned by society to believe the simple act of expressing an emotion calls for an apology.

Being a woman in modern society has gotten increasingly difficult throughout the years. Women are held to an impossible standard, one that is full of contradictions, that can only lead to failure and negative psychological ramifications. Hollywood actress America Ferrara said it best in her monologue in the movie Barbie.

“It is impossible to be a woman,” Ferrara said. “You are so beautiful and smart and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.”

To society, being a woman means you have to be skinny but cannot voice your desire to be so, be ambitious but not aggressive, you cannot have a lot of opinions otherwise you are seen as overbearing. You cannot express any desires of your own because even though the world is progressing, women should still live to serve others and never themselves. But most importantly, in all your efforts to be perfect, everything you are doing is still wrong.

With these impossible standards, how is a woman supposed to exist freely in society? The answer is simple, she can’t. 

It has been ingrained in us since the beginning of time to be polite, airy and easily digestible creatures so as not to be a burden on society. I remember as a little girl a time I was asked what I wanted as a present. I had never responded like this before in my life but instead of saying the polite, “you do not have to get me anything,” I expressed a desire. Soon after, I was scolded and made to feel ashamed for doing so.

I had forgotten the cardinal rule girls must live by: never express a desire, never show a real emotion other than happiness, never ask for too much. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. 

It is not as if girls grow up unaware of this phenomenon. They notice it as early as high school when they start to catch those typical behaviors in themselves. But with generations of psychological conditioning, how are we supposed to combat this? There is always the feminist movement, but even that tends to get a bad reputation among men, labeling feminists as hysterical, angry and once again, overbearing.

Well, I am tired of it. I am tired of living according to others’ expectations of me. I am tired of trying to find the perfect personality that makes everyone love me. I am tired of never feeling at home in my skin or feeling like I am truly living the life I want. If my existence is overbearing to you, don’t talk to me. If I don’t look attractive to you, don’t look at me. If I am too ambitious for you, work harder.

It is high time that women and society learn a clear lesson: whatever kind of woman you are, you are right. Whether you are thin or not, whether you are louder or more subdued or highly ambitious, you are correct in being the way you are and it should not matter what anyone else thinks as long as you are living the life you are proud of.

For us to inspire true change, women need to love each other for who we are and support each other. We cannot expect immediate change, but living our lives unbothered by society’s opinion of us and uniting with the diversity making us who we are is the best thing we can do. Women are powerful and capable of great things – it is time the world sees that.

I should not have to simplify my personality for you and it is not my problem if I am not easily digestible. My personality does not fit in a box with perfectly creased edges; it is a big, loud, beautiful jumble and it is not yours to dim. My emotions are not yours to control and maintain and it is not my job to bend and break to fit the mold that you put me in. 

I am not your perfect girl anymore.

Follow Nyah (@nyah_rama) and @CHSCampusNews on X.

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About the Contributors
Nyah Rama
Nyah Rama, CHS9 Editor
Nyah is a junior and the CHS9 editor for The Sidekick. Although she was inspired by Rory from Gilmore Girls at 9 years old, Nyah’s journey in the school newspaper and journalism started when she won Writer of the Week during a journalism summer camp. Outside of writing for The Sidekick, Nyah is also an editor for the magazine TaHB, which focuses on topics and events in the science and medical field. When not working on a story for The Sidekick, struggling through IB classes, or editing for TaHB magazine, Nyah enjoys critiquing reality TV with her friends over FaceTime, listening to female rap artists such as Cardi B, Saweetie and Latto, and keeping up with her football team, the New York Jets. As a proud New Jerseyan, born and raised for 5 years, Nyah attributes her opinionated personality to her Jersey origin. She loves everything about the American Northeast: people’s aggressive attitudes and aggression, and the busy city lifestyle. To discuss Patrick Mahomes’ football career, share opinions on reality TV characters, or discuss rap culture, you can contact Nyah by email at [email protected] or on Instagram (@nyah_rama).    
Minori Kunte
Minori Kunte, Staff Cartoonist
Minori Kunte is a junior and the staff cartoonist for The Sidekick. She spends her time singing for the Madrigals and A Capella. In her free time outside of school, she enjoys painting scenic locations she’s spotted and making vlogs of her vacations for herself and her family to watch. Her favorite movie of all time is The Hunger Games: Catching Fire. She enjoys watching Anne With An E and The 100, while snacking on Brookside Acai Dark Chocolate and Skinny Pop. She feels inspired when looking at art made by Anna-Laura Sullivan and Bob Ross. You can contact her at [email protected]

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    AudreyOct 25, 2023 at 7:38 am

    You have a strong and powerful writing style, great job!

    I can’t help but wonder if we police the way women express themselves way too much though? As someone who also says “I’m sorry” like at least a hundred times a day, I feel a lot of the times I just say it as a “formality,” if that makes sense? Like I am not actually feeling apologetic, instead, I want to communicate to the person that I understand if they feel inconvenienced and can empathize with them…Just another perspective, but really impressive article regardless!