When the teachers of Coppell High School think about what it was like to date as a teen, most probably look back on memories of working up the courage to talk to the girl they liked in the halls, awkward first dates and shy conversations with their class crush.
However, when Generation Z thinks about dating, many picture that guy who keeps swiping up on their Instagram stories or that girl they have been snapping for months. Others think about being afraid to be seen at school by the person who has only ever perceived them through carefully curated posts.
In our generation, giving someone your phone number or walking in the halls together can be a big step. Labels like “situationship” are the norm and receiving “good morning” texts are a reason to celebrate. All in all, the world of high school relationships have become increasingly convoluted.
As junior Hemi Daza puts it, “a guy is more likely to ask you for your Snapchat than for your name.”
Social media has caused a huge culture shift. As each new generation begins their online lives, they each give a little more power to the monster that is the social media algorithm. TikTok, Instagram and Snapchat are no longer places to share our relationships but to avoid the realities of dating, protecting us from the fear of embarrassment or “looking too desperate.”
It has fostered an endless cycle where we guard our feelings by never facing them, limiting them to only exist on the very platforms that caused the insecurities to begin with.
Consequently, we have become uneasy with the unpredictability of in-person interactions. Meeting someone for the first time, telling them you found them attractive and asking them out used to be a normal occurrence. Face-to-face rejection and confrontations were just part of growing up.
We, as a generation, need to work on allowing ourselves to be vulnerable. Why would anyone want to be in a relationship with someone who openly flirts on the phone all night, yet passes you in the hall without so much as a glance? What do we have to lose, telling people we are interested in them? Instead of seeing embarrassing experiences as losses, we can see them as another funny story we get to tell. Dating milestones, good and bad, are what give us the power to manage healthy relationships in the future and develop emotional resilience.
This Valentine’s Day, take a step forward. Go up to that special someone and tell them how you feel face-to-face. I mean, would we not prefer to know and have a chance to experience the incredible benefits real connections could bring, rather than leave ourselves wondering as we check their Snap score?
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Sahasra Chakilam • Feb 11, 2025 at 1:35 pm
Great column!