In a district known for its academic rigor and competitive spirit, we are constantly pushed to perform, outdo one another and strive for perfection. While success is important, it should not get in the way of our ability to be kind. If our first thought is to judge someone rather than help them, there can be no growth.
This became apparent to me this semester as I seriously struggled academically for the first time. I was a straight A student for most of my life leading up to sophomore year, but a combination of adapting to a new campus and taking four AP classes took a toll. As some of my grades dropped to Bs, I was discouraged to find little understanding from my peers. While I am lucky to have supportive friends, my classmates looked down on me for not meeting their standard. Some judged me behind my back, while others said it straight to my face. While these comments were not intended to be hurtful, I still felt the sting of their words.
I heard everything from “You got an 80? How? That test was so easy, I got a 98” to “LOL you failed? Could not be me! I got a 100 ‘cause I’m not dumb.”
It is hard to be unaffected by these comments, and even harder not to repeat them. Why do we find it easier to say mean things than nice ones? It takes little effort to consider what you are going to say before you speak. Recognizing a hurtful or offensive comment before speaking can save both of you from hard feelings.
There are times when you do not know what someone else is going through. Often, how someone acts and their actions are not necessarily representative of how they feel. Everyone has times where they have not been at their best, and everyone processes situations differently.
It is time for a cultural shift in our community. We would all benefit from making a conscious effort to practice kindness, patience and understanding, recognizing that each of us have our own experiences. Whether it is offering a word of encouragement or taking a moment to listen without jumping to conclusions, small acts of compassion can make a world of difference.
Sometimes the best thing to do is not say anything at all. You never know how much of an effect your words can have on others. If someone you know is acting differently, or is different from you in some way, take the time to talk to them and not judge them.
Take a step back the next time you are about to judge or criticize. Ask yourself if you truly understand the full story — if you know where that person is coming from, what they might be going through, or the obstacles they face. Compassion is not just about being kind when it is convenient, it is about making space for others when they need it the most.
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