Dear CHS,

Struggling with peer pressure is something that people often talk about, but never how to overcome it. 

Commercials and TV shows typically show peer pressure as something the peers are doing directly, with one vulnerable person not doing it. The peers tell them to do it, and when the vulnerable person says no, they continue to convince the person to do it.

What they don’t discuss, is that sometimes peer pressure is all in your head. Sometimes no one tells you to do something, but you feel like you should. You want them to believe you’re “cool” when you don’t want to feel excluded.

According to Merriam-Webster, peer pressure is a feeling that “one must do the same things as other people of one’s age and social group to be liked or respected by them.”

FOMO: fear of missing out, is a common cause of peer pressure. When a group of people has something they all do, but you don’t do it, you have the feeling of missing out. People don’t want to feel excluded, so they do things they wouldn’t typically do to feel like they’re a part of something.

In my freshman year, peer pressure was a struggle for me. I realized that I was changing who I was for the satisfaction of feeling accepted by my friends at the time. I talked to my parents about the urge I had to fit in. They told me I was smart enough to know the right thing to do and that my future shouldn’t be focused on what others are doing. I re-evaluated my goals and my priorities. I focused on what I needed. I met some new friends who respect who I am and have the same goals as me.

It is hard to come to terms with the fact that you need to prioritize your needs first and that you shouldn’t need to change yourself for your friends. If you think your friends or brain are pressuring you to do something you don’t want to, think about the future and the potential outcome of doing this. Put yourself on the path to success and focus on what you want your life to be. 

If you find yourself in a position where you start ignoring the consequences of something so you can fit in, tell yourself that you don’t need to do this and have it in your head that you are going to say no and stick by your decision. Remember the consequences and have confidence in yourself. Respect yourself enough to where you can be independent in your own actions.

If others are encouraging you, tell them you don’t want to do it and you have every right not to. If they keep pressuring you, stick to your choice and if you have to, simply walk away. 

With love,
Your own Sidekick