By Ellen Cameron
Staff Writer

“All ya’ll is the greatest word in the dictionary. Well, it will be when I’m done,” David Lieber vowed. Strangely enough, this promise of the Texan bastardization of the English language occurred in Coppell’s William T. Cozby Public Library.

Lieber, a comedian, sartorialist and columnist for the Fort Worth Star-Telegram was the guest speaker at the library’s latest tea party and spoke of his experiences on the journey of becoming Texas-condoned beginning in 1993 with his move from Philadelphia to Bedford to work for the paper.

While the comfortably-attired middle class women of Coppell drank tea with their finger sandwiches, Lieber talked about his often-disastrous journey to acceptance—and while it may not be polite to laugh at other’s misfortunes, it is perfectly fine if they laugh first.

And laugh they did, as Lieber described learning that there is, in fact, a wrong answer to the question “Where are you from?” and only realizing the insults wrecked upon him after reading the book How to Talk Like a Texan and being terrified of chimichangas (because really, they do sound quite dangerous to the untrained ear.)

But Lieber’s rather catastrophic journey had a chick-flick ending that left the tea-drinker’s hearts gushing: at the end of his wits, he asked God for a woman to lead him through Texas barbs and queues. Her name is Karen.

“The turning point came on Oct. 2, 1994, when newspaper readers opened their Sunday paper and read a column by me that began: ‘Here in Texas I’ve met the woman of my dreams. Unfortunately, she lives with the dog of my nightmares.’” Lieber said. “The story went on to describe my burgeoning romance with Karen, a local woman, and her two wonderful children. The problem came with Psycho Dog, Karen’s pooch, who detested me. It was a funny story about how the dog tried to drive me away from Karen, but in the end, the dog and I reconciled (somewhat) when I apologized on behalf of humanity to Psycho Dog for her previous owner, who had brutalized her. The story ended with me realizing that I couldn’t live without Karen, her two children, and the doggone little dog. The last line was, ‘Karen, will you marry me?’ She said yes. We just celebrated our 15th anniversary and I love Texas!”

Texas seems to love Lieber as well; or, at least, the suburban Texas library did.

Coppell senior Haley Wilson volunteered at the library to serve tea for Texas Association of Future Educators (TAFE) service hours. For her, the comedian’s poignant speech was unexpected.

“I plan to volunteer again, because it’s been fun,” Wilson said. “It’s been different than I expected it to be; I thought it was really funny.”

The library’s next tea is scheduled for May 29 at 2. Though admission is free, guests are asked to RSVP in advance by calling (972) 304-3658 for planning purposes. The library also plans to host Harry Potter and Eclipse parties before the movies are released and a library birthday party on April 10.  

“I would like to be sure that we get the word out about all the programming that is going on here, in addition to the books, movies and databases you expect from a library,” librarian Betsy Merrill said. “We try to have a fun variety.”