By Jena Seidemann
Managing Editor
@jena_seidemann

“I’m gonna say the one thing you aren’t supposed to say. I love you… but I love me more. I’ve been in a relationship with myself for 49 years and that’s the one I need to work on.” -Samantha Jones

There are three kinds of people: the ones that love themselves too much, the ones too little, and the ones just right.

The ones understanding the balance between self gratification and selflessness will be the ones that will love you when you need it and be the ones to tell you the honest truth when necessary.

Individually, you have to know when someone or something is no longer beneficial to you. It is not necessarily a matter of loyalty but of self preservation.

Would you keep touching poison ivy even though it irritates your skin? Absolutely not. You would learn to identify it and avoid it as best as possible.

Samantha’s quote really hit home for because when I read it, I think of someone that loves herself enough not to do things that would harm her. I think of someone that believes in always becoming the best version of herself, someone who knows when to say no, someone who still loves people and knows when to put herself first but also believes she is equally as important – important enough to take time alone and not always depend on others to approve of her life and choices.

“Poor is the man whose pleasure depends on the permission of another.” – Madonna

There is serenity in solitude. We can find out who we are without the help of others because sometimes, the background noise is distracting and unnecessary.

I am the not the wisest or most experienced soul, but I have had my fair share of depending on others, and it has led to disappointment. I can’t tell you how many times I have felt so insignificant because people would always choose others instead of me. I would never be anyone’s first choice but a back up, and it hurt. It still does.

But through the years, I have concluded I am my best friend. And my second best friends are my family.

I am the only one that understands myself to the fullest. I can be hard to handle, a little quirky, and maybe a little too intense, but I am worth it. I never question my sudden urge for ice cream or my over obsessiveness with my cat or my love for my family and fierce devotion to those I love or the inability to get out of bed before 11 on a weekend, I just get it. I get me. You get me?

As for my family, when I am being judged, it is for the right reasons. My family has always looked out for my best interests and no, I do not always agree with what that is or how they show they care, but they care. They are not trying to be intentionally malicious; they are trying to make me into the best version of myself that I can be, and I respect that. Those kinds of people are the ones I want around.

I’ll always be outgoing and meet new people, but I have learned that you gotta love yourself before you can ever expect anyone else to love you, so that even if they don’t, you know someone loves you – you. It isn’t conceited; its confidence. It’s healthy.

I believe in a healthy balance because if we cannot see value in our own life, will we ever be able to in others? I was only able to be happy for others when I became happy with myself. True happiness is when you can love yourself and be happy for others because it’s kind of boring if you are only happy for yourself, but when you share happiness, you increase your joy.

It is a fine balance, but once we get it, the world will be a happier place.