What is with these low standards for men and boys?
I am a hopeless romantic. I spend most of my time reading romance novels, dreaming that one day I, too, would have a surreal experience like the characters in the books. I mean, who does not want somebody to sweep them off their feet and be so perfect that everything in life feels right?
My mom jokes that my standards are too high. To her, real life is not an Ann Liang novel, but I disagree. I have seen multiple scenarios where womens’ standards are too low, and it is becoming detrimental.
I have heard “girls these days” followed by phrases like “do not want to do housework” or “take care of their in-laws,” and it instantly ruins my day. I have never heard anyone say “boys these days do not want to clean,” or “boys these days do not want to cook,” because no one expects them to.
In my family, everyone serves their own food. After all, no one else knows how much you want to eat but yourself, but I have seen women get up to serve their husbands who have perfectly working legs and hands in the middle of a meal, and the man does not protest. Why should women let themselves be treated that way? Why does the husband not offer to serve his wife?
I overhear conversations between teenage girls and their friends about boys, which is normal. What is not normal is how I have heard some of these boys breaking boundaries set by the girls. If the trust in a relationship is gone, what good is it? Yet, they give these boys the benefit of the doubt. People I am close to pursue boys who blatantly ignore them and treat them like something disposable.
I have noticed smart, intelligent young women pursuing someone who does not spare them a second glance. Yet, they feel as if it is not a big deal. I remember when a girl cried because her boyfriend was flirting with another girl. It was not simply “friendly conversation,” and she was uncomfortable with his actions. Still, she forgave him.
Once, at a gathering, a man made a rude joke about his wife’s weight. She laughed uncomfortably, while I was enraged. No woman should have to tolerate such degrading attacks, especially not from a man who should love and support her.
It is human nature to make mistakes, but it should also be human nature to respect yourself and know your worth. If a boy you have feelings for is causing you more heartache than butterflies, then you deserve better. Do not settle for less because you think it is normal for someone to make you feel distrust or pain.
This self-respect comes from self-confidence. You will be treated how you expect to be treated. Ask yourself if you would want one of your closest friends to be treated the way someone is treating you. If the answer is no, then reevaluate.
It is important to communicate what you want from someone. This goes for any type of relationship. Good people will take your grievances to heart. The less than ideal ones will ignore you.
Girls, believe in your worth. Know you deserve someone who makes you feel special and most important of all, respects you.
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