Mama, how come he just left? Where is he? Why wasn’t I good enough for him to want to stay?

Growing up with an absent father gave me the opportunity to have a close relationship with the dazzling woman who I consider my ultimate inspiration – my mom, Shilpa Choudhary.

Self·less. The Merriam-Webster dictionary recognizes the word “selfless” as the act of being concerned more with the needs and wishes of others than with one’s own. However, hearing this word, the first thought entering my mind is my mother.

From a very young age, my mother enforced the mindset that I could do anything I set my mind to, an attribute she’s constantly displayed to me through her actions as a single mother. 

My first recollection of recognizing my mother’s selflessness is when I was 7. At the time, I knew I had a strong passion for helping others, making me greatly inspired by world-renowned neurosurgeon Ben Carson. 

I had rewatched his movie, Gifted Hands, more times than I could count and obsessively read his books, cover to cover. When I found out he was coming to Houston, I practically freaked out. 

I recall feeling disheartened that I wasn’t able to go due to my mom saying she had a big interview with her director, however, I instantly became elated as my mother made a spontaneous u-turn on the way to school, telling me to get my books ready to be signed by my medical role model.

As a quiet, timid girl who switched schools more than an “average” kid does, I never really had a close friend, nor did I feel like I needed one, because my mom filled that void. 

While she does have high expectations for me, my mom made it possible for me to open up and feel safe talking to her, always being ready for late-night Yogurtzone runs or to watch “Gilmore Girls” for hours on end. 

I’ve always considered my mother as my best friend, and treated her like my sister, frequently referring to her by the nickname “Shipu.” I never believed she was the normal, stereotyped Indian mother. As I matured, I understood she was the one person who had my best interest at heart and always made it a  priority to make time for me.

One of my favorite attributes about my mom is her ability to manage the stress of having so much on her plate, as she has to complete what seems to me like an infinite amount of tasks. Even while being stretched over her threshold, I admire how she holds such a playful, “inner child” personality around me, such as always wanting to sleep in my room or by surprising me with two puppies. 

My mom reminds me to be the best version of myself and makes sure to fill our house with love, fun, and music. She puts in so much effort to make sure I’m happy, defying my childhood fear of not being enough. 

As she guided me through these past 15 years, I don’t know if she ever realized that the person I most wanted to be is even half as strong as her.

Follow Rhea Choudhary (@rhea_choud) and @CHSCampusNews on Twitter