I am a failure.

I do things every single day that make me more of a failure than I was before. I procrastinate, don’t exercise or spend way too much time passively scrolling through YouTube, searching for another shred of entertainment to get me through the day. 

Honestly, I’m writing this column for myself. My life has been in all kinds of turmoil lately and when I recently looked in the mirror, I saw my frizzy hair practically defying gravity, my face was filled with unpleasant acne scars and my legs had so many scratches from carelessly walking through the woods or stumbling down my stairs.

If failure had a face, it would be the one staring right back at me.

I figured I couldn’t be the only one, so I did my own research. In an anonymous poll I conducted with 30 respondents, 87 percent of people said that they either once felt like a failure or are currently feeling like one. 

Why?

There is a big problem if so many people, no matter how objectively successful they are, feel unsuccessful. The standard which we are holding ourselves to is so high we sometimes forget that success is not linear. 

I have days where I feel like doing nothing and days where I feel trapped in a cage of demotivation. 

But we don’t need to be constantly grinding or putting our energy into things, especially when we are still in a global pandemic. Not being 100 percent all the time does not make us failures. 

It was not an easy road for me to change my mindset. In fact, the negative energy still takes over my mind sometimes and ruins my entire day. It’s not practical to wake up tomorrow and feel amazing about yourself for the rest of your life. But the faster you accept yourself for your flaws as well as your strengths, the happier you will be in the long run.  

Other people can also make us feel unworthy, whether they be parents’ expectations, “friends” making fun of us or those humble braggers who cannot go a day without boasting about their achievements.

People can say anything they want to, whether it be good or bad. But you are the only one that can change your perspective in life. You can choose not to be a failure by simply declaring yourself that you are not one. The mind has more than 60,000 thoughts a day, and for me, most of those thoughts were always bullying me and demeaning my self worth. 

But once we learn to defeat our inner monster, that one voice constantly whispering to us that we are never enough, we will be unstoppable. 

I am not going to tell you to practice gratitude like every YouTube video and Google search tells us to because it does not work for everyone. Gratitude is an amazing practice to increase overall happiness, but when it comes to self sufficiency, I have realized gratitude is not the key. 

I am going to tell you to look at yourself for what you are instead of what you are not. You are a beautiful soul. You are someone with a kind heart who everyone wants to be around. You are a hardworking individual. You are only a failure in life if you believe it and don’t care to change it. But you are not your mistakes. 

You are a human being. 

Celebrate it, your future self will thank you for it. 

Follow Sreeja (@sreejamuduby) and @CHSCampusNews on Twitter.